DEFINITELY NOT FRIED CHICKEN REVIEW: A CRIMINAL EMPIRE THAT'S ADDICTIVE, IF A LITTLE HALF-BAKED
Let's be honest, we've all watched Breaking Bad and thought, "I could do that." Well, Definitely Not Fried Chicken is here to let you live out your Gus Fring fantasy, building a sprawling drug empire behind the friendly facade of a fried chicken joint. The concept is a 10/10, a pure genius idea for a tycoon game. While it's not without its fair share of jank and questionable design choices, the core loop is dangerously addictive.
The Los Pollos Hermanos Dream
When this game is firing on all cylinders, it's incredible. You're meticulously designing your meth lab, setting up your weed greenhouses, and scheduling truck routes, all while making sure your laundromat front is turning a legitimate profit. Managing the two sides of the business, hiring a crew of minimum-wage minions, and watching the dirty money roll in is an addictive power trip. The 80s vibe is perfect, the dark humor lands, and for a while, you really do feel like a criminal kingpin about to tell someone they're a "goddamn artist."
A Few Quirks in the System
Now, this empire isn't without its problems. The AI for your workforce can be... quirky. You'll occasionally find workers wandering in circles or ignoring a task that's right in front of them, even if many of the early game-breaking bugs have been squashed. The UI is a bit clunky and could use some modern quality-of-life touches, like better information on what your expensive upgrades actually do. It's a game that can still feel a little rough around the edges, and you'll definitely have moments where you're fighting the interface more than the cops.
The Path of Least Resistance
The biggest issue with the game's design is how easily you can break its economy. The game offers a whole buffet of narcotics to produce and sell, from weed to coke to meth. The problem? You don't need any of it. After a bit of experimentation, it becomes clear you can build a massive, infinitely profitable empire with just a simple weed farm and a laundromat, letting the game run in the background while you become a millionaire. It undermines the strategic depth and makes most of the late-game content feel completely optional, which is a damn shame.
An Addictive, Brain-Off Grind
So if the AI is weird and the balance is broken, why is it so hard to stop playing? Because the core loop is pure, uncut dopamine for anyone who loves management games. It's the perfect "turn your brain off and listen to a podcast" game. There's a simple, primal satisfaction in watching your trucks go out, your money go up, and your little voxel empire expand. It's a game that's more about the journey of building something than the challenge of running it.
The Verdict
I'm conflicted about Definitely Not Fried Chicken. The concept is brilliant, and the core gameplay loop is incredibly addictive. But it's held back by a lack of polish and some shallow balancing that keeps it from being a true classic. That said, I had a hell of a lot of fun with it. If you're a hardcore tycoon player looking for a deep, balanced challenge, this ain't it. But if you're looking for a fun, funny, and dangerously engrossing sandbox to build your own criminal empire in, and you can get it on sale? It's definitely worth a taste.
Score: 6.5/10 - A dangerously addictive tycoon game that's as flawed as it is fun.
We at NLM received a key for this game for free, this however didn't impact our review in any way.