Your Guide to 100% Misery: The Complete Megabonk Achievement Guide
So, you've decided to 100% Megabonk. It's a noble goal, born of either extreme dedication or a complete lack of self-preservation. Most of the game's 102 achievements will unlock naturally as you throw yourself into the meat grinder. But some of them require a special kind of focus… a dark, twisted dedication that will make you question your life choices.
This is the roadmap through the madness. This isn't just about telling you to "kill 15,000 goblins." This is a guide for the truly obnoxious stuff, the challenges that feel like a personal attack from the developers, while also covering every other checkpoint on your path to total completion.
Progression and Quest Milestones
These are the achievements you can mostly ignore. They'll pop as you simply play the game, beat the main stages, and complete the quests that unlock core mechanics. The game basically rewards you for not giving up immediately.
You'll unlock the characters CL4NK, Robinette, Sir Chadwell, Ninja, and Vlad by completing the various tiers of the Forest and Desert maps. Completing quests will grant you meta-upgrades like Refresh, Skip, and Banish, as well as extra Weapon and Tome Slots. Keep buying unlocks from the main menu to get Toggler, and beat the final boss twice for the Energy Core. Dicehead pops after 100 quests.
You'll also need to beat six of the game's challenges to unlock Tony McZoom, Anvil, and Spaceman. The tier 1 challenges are mostly a cakewalk, so just pick any six that look easy and get them over with.
The Body Count
A significant portion of your journey is just about killing a whole lot of things. These achievements will unlock through sheer attrition. Don't focus on them; they'll come naturally.
Basic kill counts will net you the Revolver (7,500 total kills) and the Blood Tome (12,500 total kills). You'll also get Calcium for 1,000 skeletons and Ogre for 15,000 goblins. Killing 500 enemies while standing perfectly still gets you Idle Juice.
Weapon-specific achievements are also straightforward. Using the Sword will eventually unlock the Axe (2,000 kills), Brass Knuckles (5,000 kills), and the mighty Dexecutioner (12,500 kills). Keep using that to get Joe's Dagger (10,000 Dexecutioner kills). Other weapon grinds include the Ice Crystal (50 Frostwalker kills), Dragonfire (4,000 fire damage kills), Lightning Orb (3,000 lightning damage kills), and Grandma's Secret Tonic (3,000 sniper kills). The "Slutty Rocket" and "Slutty Cannon" both count towards the Cannon (5,000 rocket kills) and Mines (7,500 rocket kills). The Toxic Barrel requires 2,000 poison damage kills.
The "Oh, That's How You Do It" List
This category is for achievements that are easy to get once you know they exist. It's a checklist of miscellaneous tasks and lucky drops.
You'll get Forbidden Juice for 100 crits and Quantity Tome for firing 5,000 projectiles. The Aura unlocks if you survive for two minutes without taking any damage. Key requires you to open 25 chests, and Golden Sneakers needs you to break 150 pots. To get the XP Tome, you have to break 20 pots in a single run.
For shrine-related unlocks, use the Shrine of Succ 8 times for the Attraction Tome. Complete all 15 Charge Shrines on a map to get the Sucky Magnet. The Tornado weapon unlocks by charging 5 shrines during sandstorms in the Desert. The Thorns Tome is your reward for blocking 250 attacks with the Aegis weapon.
Healing 350 HP with lifesteal grants the Demonic Blade. Increasing your max HP 400 times with Blood Magic unlocks Demonic Blood. Get your max HP to 500 for the Chonkplate. For item-specific tasks, obtaining three Leeching Crystals in one run gets you Kevin. Microwaving an Ice Crystal three times in a row unlocks Noelle, and doing the same with Moldy Cheese gets you Poison Gloves. Poisoning 50,000 enemies with that cheese unlocks Amog. Finally, the Cursed Doll is your prize for dying 10 times.
Hidden Interactables and RNG Nightmares
These require a bit of luck and a keen eye. To unlock the Bananarang, you need to find a single hidden banana in the Forest. To get Monke, you have to find both a cage and a key in the same Forest run. Find and activate all the boomboxes in the Forest for the Boombox achievement.
You'll also need to find and defeat two minibosses: Bush in the Forest and Bandit in the Desert. The Katana has a 5% chance to drop from a Tumbleweed on Desert Stage 1, while the Shotgun has a 5% chance from a Tumbleweed on Desert Stage 2. The Luck Tome has a minuscule 0.01% chance to drop from any enemy. Good luck with that one.
Tome and Weapon Upgrades
Many unlocks are tied to simply leveling up your gear during a run. Get the Cooldown Tome to level 5 for the Battery, the Agility Tome to level 5 for Turbo Socks, and both in the same run for Turbo Skates.
Other Tome upgrades include Megachad (Damage Tome Lv 7), Shattered Knowledge (Attraction Tome Lv 8), Leeching Crystal (Regen Tome Lv 8), Echo Shard (XP Tome Lv 8), Athena (Thorns Tome Lv 9), Black Hole (Knockback Tome Lv 10), Sniper (Precision Tome Lv 10), Blood Magic (Blood Tome Lv 12), and Dice (Luck Tome Lv 12).
For weapons, get the Axe to level 10 for the Duration Tome and the Lightning Staff to level 15 for the Wireless Dagger.
Character-Specific Challenges
These achievements can only be unlocked while playing as a specific character.
Playing as CL4NK, you'll need to kill 15,000 enemies to unlock Rockets and teleport to the second stage of Forest Tier 2 to get the Desert map. As Tony McZoom, you must complete Desert Tier 2 for the Space Noodle. Playing as Sir Oofie, block 500 damage with armor for the Aegis and kill 5,000 enemies for the Armor Tome.
As Fox, kill 1,000 Wisps in the Desert for the Dragon's Breath. Kill 5,000 enemies with the Amog weapon's poison to unlock the Gas Mask. As Birdo, kill 10,000 enemies for the Eagle Claw. Finally, reach level 30 as Calcium for the Demonic Soul and level 50 as Vlad for the Bloody Cleaver.
Boss-Related Triumphs
These are all about how you take down the big bads at the end of each stage.
Cursed Tome: Beat a Stage Boss in under 5 minutes. Holy Book: Kill a Stage Boss without taking any damage during the entire run. The "Fragile" challenge makes this one automatic. Speedboi: Complete a stage with at least two Boss Curses active. This means fighting three bosses at once. Boss Buster: Kill a Stage Boss in under 30 seconds. This will happen naturally once your builds get strong enough. Tactical Glasses: Kill a miniboss (like Chunkham) in under 25 seconds. Poison Flask: Kill the Scorpionussy miniboss in the Desert three times. Gamer Goggles: Defeat a Stage Boss while you have less than 10% of your max HP remaining.
The Hero Sword Run
This challenge requires you to defeat a Stage Boss without picking up any items, power-ups, or using any shrines. You can only use what you get from leveling up. This is a test of your meta-progression. Make sure you have all your weapon and tome slots unlocked, as well as all your rerolls.
Go into the run with a plan. Use the toggler to disable any melee weapons you've unlocked; you want to stay at a distance to avoid accidentally picking up power-ups. The Bow and Sniper Rifle are your best friends. Grab the XP Tome as soon as you can and focus on pure damage. Survive the first swarm from a distance, collect the XP, and you should be strong enough to melt the boss before the second swarm arrives.
The Corrupted Sword Grind
This one is a two-part nightmare. First, you have to unlock the Cursed Tome by beating a boss in under five minutes. Then, on a separate run, you need to get that Cursed Tome to level 20 in under 10 minutes. This is a speedrun. You need a fast character like Tony McZoom and a laser focus on XP gain. Toggle off any unnecessary tomes to streamline your level-up options.
A Special Circle of Hell: The Cactus Achievement
This is the worst one. You have to kill 100 cactus enemies with Thorns damage. This achievement is a miserable, soul-crushing experience that relies on layer after layer of RNG. First, you have to hope the cactus enemies even spawn. Second, you need to get the Thorns Tome. Third, you have to physically hug these spiky bastards to death, hoping your thorns kill them before they kill you.
The fastest method is to play the "Hyper" challenge in Desert Tier 1 for more enemy spawns. Use a character like Bush who has thorns by default. Refund your extra weapon slots and focus on tomes that grant Armor, Shields, and Lifesteal. This is not about fun. This is about gritting your teeth and getting it over with. Leave this one for last.
Surviving the Final Swarm
You'll need to survive the final swarm for increasing lengths of time to get the Ghost (60 seconds), Bob (Dead) (2 minutes), and Soul Harvester (6 minutes) achievements. The final swarm triggers when the timer hits zero and gets harder over time.
This is all about defense. A build focused on Armor, Evasion, Shields (Aegis), and Lifesteal is your best bet. Damage output helps clear space, but your primary goal is to mitigate incoming damage and heal it back faster than the horde can dish it out. Trying this on the final boss map can be advantageous, as the open space and knockback can send you flying, which is time you're not taking damage.