Hell Just Froze Over: Steam Is Having an Actual 'Black Friday' Sale for the First Time Ever

I thought I was hallucinating when I logged in today, but Gabe Newell has finally succumbed to the dark arts of American retail holidays.

For as long as I can remember, Valve has played it cool. While every other retailer screams "BLACK FRIDAY" at the top of their lungs, Steam usually sits back, sips its tea, and gives us the "Autumn Sale." It’s the same timing, but with a dignified, seasonal wrapper.

Well, dignity is dead. I opened the store today and was greeted by a massive, neon "BLACK FRIDAY" banner.

This wasn't on the schedule. It wasn't on the leak lists. Even the all-knowing oracles at SteamDB didn't have this flagged. Valve just stealth-dropped a consumerist nuke on our wallets without a single warning shot.

The Todd Howard Effect

Naturally, the very first thing I see on this historic new sale page is Skyrim.

Todd Howard has done it again. He saw a holiday that Steam didn't technically celebrate, and he forced it into existence just to sell us The Elder Scrolls V for the fiftieth time. It’s 75% off, and I hate that I’m actually tempted to buy it again.

The sale page claims there are "thousands of games on discount" to celebrate this "shopping holiday." It’s a massive break from tradition for Valve, who usually likes to keep their branding distinct from the chaotic Walmart-shoving-match energy of Black Friday.

A Glitch or the New Normal?

Steam has never had a black Friday sale before, and nobody was expecting it this time either.

It feels like a glitch in the matrix. But the deals are real, the banner is real, and my bank account is already trembling.

The sale runs now through December 1st. I don't know if this is going to be a yearly thing or just a one-time try, but I don't care. Cheap games are cheap games.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go explain to my landlord why I spent my rent money on a game I already own on three consoles. Thanks, Gabe.

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