Looks like our dreams of ruling our own private slice of Arrakis are going up in sand. Dune Awakening, Funcom's upcoming survival MMO, is launching with all the flexibility of a dead sandworm.

Shit just got real. Or unreal. (See what I did there?) Or maybe both? inZOI, the upcoming life sim from the PUBG folks at Krafton, is about to make The Sims look like it was coded on an abacus.

As we hurtle towards the end of the year like a runaway freight train, Valve's got a lineup of sales that'll have you throwing money at your screen faster than a Silicon Valley startup burning through venture capital.

Epic Games is at it again, throwing free shit at us like a Deathclaw on a rampage. This time, they're serving up the Fallout Classic Collection on a silver platter until September 5th. That's right, you cheap bastards – three games for the low, low price of absolutely fucking nothing.

Looks like the monkey king's gotten himself tangled in some corporate vines. Black Myth: Wukong, the game that's been making PCs sweat harder than a nun in a brothel, is apparently delayed on Xbox due to Sony waving their exclusivity wand. Who'd have fucking thought?

Sony's favorite little robot mascot is back, and this time he's brought enough trophies to make even the most hardcore achievement hunter weep tears of joy (or frustration, depending on how much of a masochist you are).

Well, well, well. Look who's decided to crawl out of their pachinko-filled cave and throw us Metal Gear fans a bone. Konami, the company that's been treating the Metal Gear franchise like a redheaded stepchild since Kojima's departure, is now teasing Metal Gear Solid 4 for modern consoles. Hold onto your nanomachines, folks!

Well, well, well. Looks like another big shot in the gaming industry couldn't keep it in his pants. Chris Barrett, the hotshot director behind Halo, Destiny, and the upcoming Marathon, has been shown the door at Bungie faster than you can say "inappropriate workplace behavior."

Well, well, well. Look who's feeling nostalgic. Sam Lake, the mad genius behind Remedy Entertainment, has taken to Twitter to stroke his own ego about Control's fifth birthday. And you know what? He's fucking earned it.

Well, well, well. It looks like the mad bastards at Larian Studios are finally ready to put Baldur's Gate 3 to bed. After countless patches, bear-fucking incidents, and enough sass from Shadowheart to fill a small ocean, the devs are gearing up for one last hurrah before they ride off into the sunset.

Well, shit. Looks like Sony's latest attempt to capture the multiplayer market has crashed and burned harder than a drunk pilot trying to land on an aircraft carrier. Concord, the sci-fi shooter that took a whopping 8 years to develop, has managed to attract a staggering... 697 concurrent players on Steam. That's not a typo, folks. Six-hundred-ninety-fucking-seven.

Well, well, well. Looks like the zombie master himself, Jason Blundell, is trading in his undead hordes for some space magic. The man who brought us Call of Duty's mind-bending Zombies mode has apparently gotten tired of the smell of rotting flesh and decided to take a shower in stardust instead.

Just Crow Things swoops into the indie game scene like a caffeinated corvid on a mission, bringing more chaos than a flock of seagulls at a beachside picnic. This feathered fever dream from the twisted minds behind Rain on Your Parade proves once again that sometimes, the best way to make a game is to take a simple concept, inject it with pure madness, and let it loose on an unsuspecting world.

Endzone 2 crash lands into the Early Access wasteland like a drunken courier with a package marked "Handle With Care." This sequel to the original post-apocalyptic city builder cranks everything up to 11, throwing in enough new features to make your radiation-addled brain melt faster than Chernobyl's reactor core.

Galaxy Burger flings you into the greasiest corners of the universe, arming you with nothing but a spatula and a dream. This pixel-art fever dream of a cooking sim serves up a heaping helping of nostalgia, drizzled with enough alien weirdness to make you question the sanity of intergalactic health inspectors.

Shapez 2 is about to take you on a wild ride through the candy-colored hallways of automation heaven. This sequel cranks everything up to 11, transforming the 2D puzzler into a 3D mindfuck that'll have you questioning reality.

Starground crash lands into the early access scene like a drunken space trucker, promising a mash-up of automation and dungeon crawling that nobody asked for but everyone secretly wanted. This unholy union of genres manages to be both addictive and frustrating, much like that ex you keep drunk-dialing at 2 AM.

Amber Alert lures you in with promises of intense bodycam horror, then proceeds to shit the bed harder than a drunk frat boy after taco night. Strap in, because this indie "horror" game is about to take you on a ride bumpier than a shopping cart with square wheels.

Tavern Manager Simulator stumbles into the gaming scene like a drunk patron at last call, promising a delightful blend of medieval charm and business management, but delivering an experience as watered-down as the ale you'll be serving. Strap on your apron and prepare for a journey into the world of tavern keeping that's about as exciting as watching mead ferment.

Five Nights at Freddy's: Into the Pit crawls out of the ball pit of your childhood nightmares, serving up a pixelated platter of nostalgia, dread, and enough jump scares to make your grandma spill her tea. Mega Cat Studios has taken the FNAF formula, dragged it kicking and screaming into the 16-bit era, and somehow made it even more terrifying.