The Complete YAPYAP Grimoire: Every Wand, Spell, and Secret

If you are going to scream at your monitor in a dark castle while monsters hunt you down, you might as well be holding a stick that actually does something cool.

Most people spend their first few runs in YAPYAP wildly shouting incorrect words into their microphone like a confused tourist, wondering why they just got eaten by a walking armchair. The game doesn't exactly hand you a manual, and the difference between a successful extraction and a total party wipe usually comes down to whether you bought the right gear. I have spent way too much gold testing every single wand in the shop so you don't have to waste yours on garbage.

The Starter Stick: Wand of Winds

You grab this off the tree at spawn. It is basic, it gets the job done, and it is the only thing standing between you and death until you earn some cash. It is surprisingly decent for mobility, but do not expect to kill anything quickly with it.

WAND OF WINDS

The "Ol' Reliable" of magical twigs. Good for running away, bad for DPS.

SPELL	EFFECT & NOTES
Aero	Shoves an object or enemy away from you. Great for panic moments.
Tempest	Spawns a tornado that deals damage to anything trapped inside. Friendly fire is very real here.
Up-Dog	Levitates you. Secret: Say "Dog" repeatedly to boost your height. Yes, really.

The Grotesque Wand

This is for the players who want to embrace the absolute absurdity of the game. It costs 25 Gold and it is frankly disgusting, but in a useful way. It excels at vandalism and causing general chaos, which is exactly what you need for a high score.

GROTESQUE WAND

For when you want to weaponize bodily fluids. I don't judge.

SPELL	EFFECT & NOTES
Achoo	Sneezes on enemies. It's gross, but it slows projectiles.
Fish-Yuk	Turns an object into a fish. Excellent for meme potential and vandalism points.
Piss-Yuk	I'm not explaining this one. It deals damage. The louder you yell, the higher the "flow."
Dub Piss Yuk	Same as above, but with double the force. God help us all.

The Wand of Fire

Now we are talking. This costs 50 Gold, and it is the DPS king. If your group already has a utility guy, you need to buy this. It turns you into a walking hazard, but you will clear rooms faster than anyone else.

WAND OF FIRE

Burn it all down. Just try not to kill your teammates.

SPELL	EFFECT & NOTES
Ignis Tongue	A flamethrower. You can also apparently speak to fire? I haven't had a fire talk back yet.
Ignis Doom	Spawns a proximity mine. Great for setting traps in corridors.
Ignis Legs	Sets your legs on fire for a massive speed boost. Painful but effective.
Ignis Balls	Secret: Turns you into a fireball and launches you forward.

The Utility Belt: Astral & Illusions

These are for the big brains. The Wand of Illusions (25 Gold) and the Astral Wand (35 Gold) are all about map control. You won't deal massive damage, but being able to teleport or clone yourself is arguably more valuable when a Jester is chasing you down a hallway.

UTILITY WANDS

Trickery and movement. This is how you survive Night 3.

WAND & SPELL	EFFECT & NOTES
Astral: Blink	Standard teleport forward. Essential.
Astral: Astral Eyes	X-Ray mode to see enemies through walls.
Illusions: Echo Me	Sends out a clone to distract enemies.
Illusions: Poof Me	Turns you into a chair. Yes, Prop Hunt mechanics.
Illusions: Poof Anima	Secret: Allows you to possess an object.

My Recommended Loadout

If I'm running solo, I rush the Astral Wand. The ability to Blink through danger and use Astral Eyes to scout ahead is safer than trying to burn everything down. However, if I'm with a squad, I usually grab the Wand of Fire while my buddy runs Minor Arcana.

The Minor Arcana wand (25 Gold) has a spell called Teleportana that moves your entire team into the air. Combined with the Fire Wand's AOE attacks, you can rain hell from above. Just make sure your microphone settings are dialled in, because stuttering while trying to cast "Ignis Doom" usually ends in an explosion you didn't ask for.