Esoteric Ebb Quest Feats Guide: How to Unlock Every Ability

Fixing a blown up tea shop is strictly secondary to managing the four arguing voices inside your own head.

I played through a massive chunk of Esoteric Ebb before I realized I was actively locking myself out of the best upgrades. The game operates on a brilliant internal logic system. When you complete a major quest, your brain basically holds a committee meeting to reflect on what just happened. After the dialogue wraps up, you get to pick a passive feat.

If you read my Esoteric Ebb beginner's guide, you already know how crucial skill checks are. These feats provide massive mechanical advantages. They range from simple quality of life boosts to absolute game breakers that completely nullify critical failures.

Interestingly enough, almost every quest in the game just hands you the full list of choices regardless of what you actually did. There are only two specific quests that force you to meet hidden conditions to see certain options. Whether you are trying to optimize your build with the best starting stats or just trying to secure your Platinum, here is the complete breakdown of every feat and how to get it.

The Mechanics of Internal Upgrades

You do not just learn these abilities automatically. Feats are special attributes that slot into a dedicated menu.

You only have four active slots available at any given time. You will know it is time to pick a new one when a gold notification pops up in your quest log. Clicking it initiates the internal dialogue sequence. Once the conversation ends, the game presents you with a choice.

Do not panic if you pick the wrong one. You can completely swap out your active feats later by returning to the corresponding quest icon in the menu. Taking a feat off simply disables its passive benefits until you equip it again after a rest. If you want to know more about manipulating the rest mechanics, check out my Esoteric Ebb tips and tricks guide.

The Conditional Feat Unlocks

The vast majority of quests do not care about your dialogue choices. "Class Conflict" and "Democratization" are the sole exceptions to this rule. The game secretly tracks your behavior and gates your options accordingly.

If you want the God-Emperor Wizard feat, you have to spend the entire run obnoxiously reminding everyone that you are a wizard.

The Conditional Feats

You actually have to work for these specific upgrades by spamming dialogue options.

Quest & Feat	Requirement & Effect
Democratization: Democratic Herald	Ask people what they are voting for 10 times. You regain 1d4 hit points each time you ask someone about the election.
Class Conflict: The Cleric	Declare yourself The Cleric 4+ times. Healing spells increased by an extra proficiency. Heals can use Strength modifier instead of Wisdom if higher.
Class Conflict: Dick-Ass Rogue	Declare yourself a rogue 4+ times. The DC of trifle checks are lowered by an extra proficiency.
Class Conflict: God-Emperor Wizard	Declare yourself a wizard 4+ times. Prepared spells increased by an extra proficiency. Target Saving Throws rolled at disadvantage.
Class Conflict: Askanii Barbarian	Eat a slogdog from Kraaid. Whenever you are at or below 25% HP, add an extra proficiency on all rolls.
Class Conflict: Lore-Seeking Bard	Talk to Miss Nearly. Behold Checks rolled with extra proficiency. Flirt roll DCs lowered by proficiency.
Class Conflict: Friendly Local Druid	Impress Nessan in Goblin Garden. Extra proficiency in rolls when in natural habitats like caverns or overgrown areas.

The Unconditional Quest Rewards

Every other major quest in the game operates on a completely unconditional reward structure. You can botch an investigation, side with the worst possible political faction, and generally make a mess of Tolstad. The game will still let you pick whatever feat you want from that specific quest pool once the dust settles.

If you are following my Esoteric Ebb 100% achievement guide, you will naturally trigger all of these post quest reflections just by playing normally.

Early to Mid-Game Feats

These become available as you solve the initial tea shop bombing and deal with local politics.

Quest & Feat Name	The Reality
Tea Shop: Lone Cleric	At the start of your Short Rest, heal an additional amount equal to your levels of exhaustion.
Tea Shop: Master Memorizer	During your Short Rest, restore two random spell slots instead of one.
Tea Shop: Friendly Company	Always roll Hit Die with advantage during Short Rests. Snell gains extra proficiency on initiative.
Circle Square: Azgalian Spirit	Restore 1 HP for every hour that passes.
Circle Square: Money Talks	Gain 50% more Crowns on pickup.
Young & Dumb: Lady Fair	Extra proficiency in rolls when speaking with feminine characters.
Young & Dumb: Future Patriarch	Extra proficiency in rolls when speaking with masculine characters.
Election Week: Nationalist	Extra proficiency in rolls when speaking with humans.
Election Week: Freestrider	10% additional discount on all purchases.
Election Week: Arcanist	When you exhaust your last spell slot, roll 1d100. If the result is below your natural Intelligence, regain that slot.
Copper Press: Human-Dwarf Unity	While at full health, incoming damage dice are rolled with disadvantage.
Capital Dominion: Invisible Hand	Advantage on all trifle checks.
Norvikian: Leviathan Apparatus	Enemies always roll initiative with disadvantage.

Late Game and Arcane Feats

As you push deeper into the dungeons and start dealing with liches and outer gods, the feats become incredibly powerful. They stop giving you simple discounts and start fundamentally altering the core mechanics of the game.

The Star Witness quest drops some of the best safety nets available. Taking the Professional Cleric feat means you literally cannot critically fail a roll ever again.

Late Game & Arcane Feats

These abilities completely break the rules of combat and spellcasting.

Quest & Feat Name	The Reality
Star Witness: Luck of the Fool	On a natural 1, reroll and take 1d4 damage. This repeats infinitely but cannot take you below 1 HP.
Star Witness: Professional Cleric	You cannot critically fail.
Elven Connection: Fragile Immortality	No Death Saving Throws. Damage that takes you to 0 sends you to 1 instead. Any damage taken at 1 HP instantly kills you.
Elven Connection: Beautiful Lie	While at full health and 0 exhaustion, you gain advantage on all Charisma d20 rolls.
Easy Riddle: Millennia Guardian	Potion effects are doubled. Ability Score increases only apply to the first potion of each kind ingested.
Lichhouse Blues: Almost Lichdom	You no longer gain HP from healing. You are invulnerable to all damage but gain 1 exhaustion level per hit. Healing 6+ HP removes an exhaustion level.
Lichhouse Blues: Blood Magic	When you run out of spell slots, cast spells using your HP instead. The cost scales aggressively per activation.
Gate of Jor: Hjârtat Mitt	Each level of exhaustion grants a +1 bonus to d20 rolls instead of a -1 penalty.
Esoteric Ebb: Voice of God	A hidden d20 rolls alongside your normal roll. Matching results trigger a critical success. Double natural 20s fully restore your entire character.
Esoteric Ebb: Communing Patron	If damage drops you to 0, you take no damage and lose one 1st-level spell slot instead. It does nothing if you are out of slots.

You can genuinely break the late game encounters by combining something like Blood Magic with Master Memorizer. Pick the abilities that fit your playstyle, swap them out when a specific boss demands a different approach, and keep the voices in your head relatively happy.