10 Tips for RV There Yet? So You Don't End Up Bear Food (Probably)
Alright, you bought the $7 ticket to hell on wheels. Good for you. Now, how do you actually survive this janky nightmare long enough to maybe see the end credits?
This game throws you in blind. Bears want to eat you, snakes want to poison you, and the RV itself seems actively hostile. I've compiled a few hard-won lessons so maybe, just maybe, you won't rage quit immediately.
Essential Knowledge for Your Doomed Road Trip
1. Master the Clutch, Or Suffer
The RV is manual. Deal with it. Remember: Hold Q (Clutch) > Mouse-click Gear > Release Q > Press W (Accelerate). You will stall, you will roll backward down a hill into a bear, but you need to learn this dance. R starts/stops the engine, P parks.
2. The Winch Is Your God (A Glitchy, Temperamental God)
This physics-based rope is essential for getting over obstacles. E grabs the handle, Right Mouse attaches it to an anchor point, E detaches. Don't forget you can throw the handle by holding Q. It will bug out, it will fling you into space, but you need it.
3. Bear Etiquette: Spray or Run, Don't Fight
Bears are assholes and hang out near loot. Your best bet? Bear Spray. Find it, stash it, use it – it makes them flee. No spray? Run. Get across a bridge; they won't follow. Hitting them with a hammer might work, but it's risky. You cannot kill them.
4. Snake Safety: Distract, Don't Attack
Snakes = Poison = Death unless you have Antidote. Antidotes are rare, usually found at checkpoints. You cannot kill snakes. Throw a random item away from you; the snake will follow the item, letting you sneak past.
5. Healing Isn't Healthy: Beer, Burgers, and Butts
Forget medkits. Your main healing item in this godforsaken valley are burgers. Find 'em, use 'em. Got burned? You need Lotion, also found randomly. It makes no sense, just accept it.
6. Revivals Require Drugs or Checkpoints
Friend got mauled? You need an EpiPen to revive them on the spot. Find these randomly, keep spares in the RV. No EpiPen? You have to drag their corpse (figuratively) to the next Gas Station checkpoint. A grave spawns there, letting you resurrect them.
7. Cigarettes Are Performance Enhancers (Seriously)
Need to run? You have to smoke. Press 1 to light, 2 to puff (this seems to be the actual 'run' input trigger), 3 to put out. Yes, it's stupid. Yes, cigarettes appear to be unlimited. Lean into the absurdity.
8. Keep That Engine Oiled
Don't neglect RV maintenance. Check the engine oil via the hatch near the bed inside the RV. Keep spare oil bottles. Running out of oil means being stranded, which usually means becoming bear food.
9. Solo Play is Suicide (Bring Friends)
The game technically lets you play alone, but it's balanced for co-op and is nearly impossible solo. Obstacles require multiple people. Don't even try it unless you enjoy pure, unadulterated suffering. This is friendslop; treat it as such.
10. Embrace the Jank
This game is buggy. Physics will betray you. The VOIP might not work. You might clip through the world or get launched into orbit. Don't fight it. The bugs are half the fun. If you expect a polished experience for $7, you're the problem. Laugh at the chaos, that's the point.
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