Super Battle Golf Achievement Guide: How to Ruin Friendships
Golf is historically a game of patience and quiet respect, which makes beating someone to death with a 9 iron on the putting green incredibly satisfying.
Super Battle Golf is absolute gremlin behavior disguised as a sports title. You are trying to line up a delicate putt while seven other people are throwing landmines, driving carts into lakes, and calling down orbital strikes on your head. I have played an unhealthy amount of this game. I have lost my mind, I have screamed at my monitor, and I have figured out exactly how to cheese the most annoying achievements on this list.
If you are aiming for total completion, you cannot just play casually. You have to be intentional with your violence. Some of these trophies require precision, while others require you to actively grief the people you are playing with. I broke down every single achievement by category so you can efficiently knock them out.
The Hidden Achievement and Broken Mechanics
Before we get into the heavy combat, we need to address the secret achievement and the ones that feel completely bugged if you do not know the hidden mechanics.
How Is That Even Possible
This is the only hidden achievement in the game, and the requirement is actually hilarious. You need to knock yourself out with your own golf ball. The easiest way to pull this off is to stand right next to a solid wall, aim directly at it, and swing with maximum power. The ball will ricochet straight back into your skull and put you in the dirt.
Safety First
The description says you need to disarm an active landmine placed by an opponent. Walking up to a mine usually just results in your legs getting blown off. You have two real options here. The safest method is to equip a Dueling Pistol and shoot the planted mine from a distance. The game counts this as a disarm. If you want to do it by hand, you have to hold the Alt key to creep forward slowly. Once you get close enough without triggering the proximity sensor, press E to pick it up.
Coolheaded
You have to finish a match of at least nine holes with a total stroke count on or below par. A lot of players try to do this in a solo lobby and get frustrated when it does not pop. If you time out on any map while playing solo, the game invalidates the run. You have to actually complete every single hole. If you are struggling with the stroke count, go into the custom rules menu and set your swing power to 200 percent. It completely trivializes the distance requirements for par.
Weapon Specific Murder
You are not going to win purely by hitting the ball. You need to master the arsenal of absolute garbage the game scatters around the course.
The Orbital Laser
You need two achievements tied to this ridiculous weapon. For "Phone Home", just aim the laser directly at your own feet and embrace death. For "Danger Close", you have to be within ten meters of the blast without taking damage. Call the strike near yourself, wait for the beam to drop, and hit the CTRL key to dive out of the way at the very last second.
Dueling Pistols
You need to channel your inner cowboy for these. "A Matter of Honor" requires you to shoot someone who is also holding a Dueling Pistol. Just stare at your opponent until they pull theirs out, then pull the trigger first. "Gunslinger" asks you to kill ten players from over 50 meters away. Find a map with long sightlines, ignore the hole entirely, and just snipe people from the spawn area.
Explosive Mastery
You need to plant landmines in high traffic chokepoints to farm the "Green Thumb" achievement for five burrowed mine kills. "Playing with Fire" is easy enough. Just drop an explosive near an enemy and blow you both to hell. "Bully" is much harder. You need to dominate three opponents simultaneously. The best strategy is to find a crowded green, drop a mine right on the hole, and wait for three idiots to try and putt at the same time.
Trolling and Map Exploits
Super Battle Golf actively encourages you to be the absolute worst person in the lobby. These achievements reward you for pure disrespect.
Head in the Clouds
You have to reach the top of the Golf Shop while hanging out in the Driving Range lobby. You cannot just walk up there. Grab the Spring Boots item, stand at the very base of the stairs, and use the boots to launch yourself upward. You have to awkwardly walk up the giant golf club statue to trigger the pop.
Frog Legs and Home Run
For "Frog Legs", you need to travel 100 meters in a single leap. Find a high elevation point, use your Spring Boots to launch yourself, and then fire the Elephant Gun directly at the ground right before you land to blast yourself even further.
"Home Run" requires a knockout from 125 meters away. Hitting someone with a golf ball from that distance is pure luck. Instead, grab the rocket launcher item, get to the highest point on the map, and fire it down into a crowd.
Ruining the Vibe
To get "Clowning Around", you need to interrupt 25 opponents with the Air Horn. Just follow people around and blast the horn right as they start their swing meter. "Sweet Moves" requires you to dance on the green for three seconds before anyone finishes the hole. Park your ball near the flag, press T to start emoting, and pray no one snipes you. Finally, "Underwater Expedition" requires you to drive a cart with passengers into deep water. Tell your friends to press E to hop in your cart, and then drive them straight into a lake.
The Attrition Checklist
The remaining achievements are pure grinds. You will not get these in a single afternoon. You just have to play the game and slowly accumulate the stats.
If you are exhausted and just want to take a break without closing the game, you can easily grab the "Couch Potato" achievement. When you are looking at the server browser, ignore the join button and click Spectate instead. Watch an entire hole from start to finish without playing, and the achievement is yours.
The rest of the list requires genuine skill. You have to score a hole in one for "A Cut Above", which again, is much easier if you crank the swing power to 200 percent in a private lobby. You also need to finish a hole without hitting anyone for "Pacifist". It takes immense restraint to hold a rocket launcher and not fire it at your friends, but I believe you can manage it at least once.
