Total War: Medieval 3 Is Finally Real, But The Trailer Is A Nothingburger

After nearly two decades of begging, pleading, and threatening Creative Assembly on Twitter, Total War: Medieval III is finally real.

It happened. The prophecy is fulfilled.

However, in classic modern gaming fashion, the announcement came with a trailer that tells us absolutely nothing about how the game plays. If you were hoping to see a cavalry charge or a siege mechanic, you are going to be disappointed.

What we got instead was a "mood piece."

The "Cinematic" Experience

The trailer is essentially two minutes of high-budget LARPing. We get actors in very expensive period costumes monologuing about power, legacy, and the weight of the crown.

It looks cool. I won't deny that. The tone is dark, gritty, and grounded. It feels like they are trying to distance themselves from the neon-soaked fantasy of the Warhammer trilogy and get back to the mud-and-blood roots of the series.

But let's be honest. This is technically worthless.

We don't know if the engine has been updated. We don't know if the diplomacy system is still broken. We don't even know what the campaign map looks like. It is a hype video designed to make shareholders happy and get old fans to wake up from their cryosleep.

Why I Am Still Screaming

Despite the fact that the trailer is a glorified cutscene, I am vibrating with excitement.

Medieval II: Total War came out in 2006. That game is old enough to vote. We have spent years suffering through experimental Saga titles and an endless parade of fantasy DLC. The community has been desperate for a return to the classic era of knights, trebuchets, and painting the map of Europe red.

This is the "break glass in case of emergency" move for Creative Assembly. After the Hyenas disaster (the extraction shooter nobody asked for that got cancelled) and the lukewarm reception to Pharaoh, the studio needed a guaranteed win.

Medieval III is that win. It is the only card they had left to play to win back the core fanbase.

The Danger Zone

Now comes the hard part.

Announcing the game is easy. Making it live up to 20 years of nostalgia is impossible. The engine they used for Warhammer isn't great at handling the weight and collision of heavy cavalry, which is the bread and butter of medieval warfare.

If Medieval III launches and the knights float around like they are on ice skates, the riots will be legendary.

For now, I am cautiously optimistic. The tone is right. The setting is perfect. But until I see a unit of French heavy cavalry run down a line of peasant archers in real-time, I am keeping my wallet closed.

Okay, that’s a lie. I’m probably going to pre-order it. But I’m going to complain about it while I do it.

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