On paper, Phantom Squad is a dream come true. It’s a top-down, co-op tactical shooter that promises the meticulous planning of Doorkickers with the direct control and brutal gunfights of Hotline Miami. And when it works, it's a goddamn blast of coordinated breaches and intense firefights. But for every moment of tactical genius, there's a moment of pure, controller-snapping bullshit that makes you question everything.

Let's be honest, we've all watched Breaking Bad and thought, "I could do that." Well, Definitely Not Fried Chicken is here to let you live out your Gus Fring fantasy, building a sprawling drug empire behind the friendly facade of a fried chicken joint. The concept is a 10/10, a pure genius idea for a tycoon game. While it's not without its fair share of jank and questionable design choices, the core loop is dangerously addictive.

In a genre full of sterile grids and predictable challenges, The Wandering Village comes lumbering over the horizon with a concept so brilliant and weird it's impossible to ignore. You're not just building a city; you're building a city on the back of a colossal, six-legged, dinosaur-dog-god named Onbu. Your job is to keep both your whiny villagers and your giant, living island alive in a world that's actively trying to poison you both. It's as stressful and beautiful as it sounds.

Let's be honest, in 2025 the words "Definitive Edition" usually mean "lazy cash grab." It's a fresh coat of paint on a rusty frame, sold to you for twice the price. So when Firefly Studios announced Stronghold Crusader: Definitive Edition, I was skeptical as hell. I am ecstatic to report that my skepticism was completely unfounded.

Ever wondered what would happen if the most mundane part of an Amazon warehouse job was turned into a surprisingly addictive, cozy, and aesthetically pleasing video game, but it also came with a free, invisible wrist brace because you're gonna fucking need it? Welcome to Ship, Inc., the game that has perfected the art of the zen-like grind.

Ever wondered what would happen if a dystopian revolution was fought not with guns, but with sick beats and perfectly timed parkour moves, but the whole revolution was over before your pizza arrived? That's ANTRO in a nutshell: a stunningly stylish, rhythm-infused platformer that is one of the coolest two hours I've spent with a game this year, and also one of the shortest.

Ever wondered what would happen if the most mundane part of an Amazon warehouse job was turned into a surprisingly addictive, cozy, and aesthetically pleasing video game, but it also came with a free, invisible wrist brace because you're gonna fucking need it? Welcome to Ship, Inc., the game that has perfected the art of the zen-like grind.

Ever wondered what would happen if Gordon Gekko designed a factory simulator, filled it with cocaine-fueled 80s satire, but then forgot to hire a QA team before shipping it? That's Rise of Industry 2, a game with a brilliant, complex, capitalist heart that's currently suffering from a catastrophic, bug-riddled meltdown.

Ever wondered what would happen if someone saw a good, popular game, decided they could make it themselves but with zero talent, a pirated copy of an AI art generator, and the programming skills of a concussed badger? Well, allow me to introduce you to TCG Multiplayer Card Shop Simulator, a game so shameless in its imitation that my antivirus software tried to stage an intervention when I launched it.

Ever wondered what would happen if a developer took Supermarket Simulator, dragged it through a text-to-image AI generator, and slapped a different theme on it like a cheap coat of paint? Well, you don't have to wonder, because Tobacco Shop Simulator is here, and it's the latest piece of addictive, unoriginal slop that I now have a deep and shameful relationship with.

Ever wondered what would happen if the legendary creator of Counter-Strike emerged from a time capsule, decided to build a spiritual successor to SWAT 4 and Payday, but constructed it using spare parts from 2005 and a whole lot of raw, unfiltered ambition? Say hello to Alpha Response, a game that is simultaneously a glimpse of tactical brilliance and a janky, glorious, hot mess.

Ever wondered what would happen if you took your sprawling, multi-million dollar drug empire and decided to go legit by laundering it through a glamorous new casino, only to find out the casino was built by someone who's never actually seen a poker table and thinks "gameplay" is a four-letter word? Well, the Casino DLC for Drug Dealer Simulator 2 is here to show you exactly how that feels.

Ever wondered what would happen if one of the greatest, most terrifying games ever made was lovingly excavated from its 1999 tomb, dusted off, and given a 4K facelift by a team that actually gives a shit? Nightdive Studios has answered that prayer with the System Shock 2: 25th Anniversary Remaster, a release that finally makes my old, heavily-modded install of the original completely obsolete. And thank god for that.

Ever wondered what would happen if a developer crafted one of the most brilliant, deep, and satisfying modern warfare RTS engines you've ever seen, but then wrapped it in a package that seems to have a deep-seated contempt for its own players? That's the maddening experience of playing Broken Arrow, a game with sky-high potential that's currently grounded by some of the most baffling design choices I have ever witnessed.

Ever wondered what would happen if your favorite chaotic, murderous grade school simulator came back for a third day, but it felt like it had suffered a minor concussion over the weekend? Welcome back to class for Kindergarten 3, a sequel that’s just as funny as its predecessors but feels suspiciously smaller, simpler, and emptier.

Ever wondered what would happen if you graduated from Wizard University, opened a charming little potion shop, but then realized the business plan was written on a napkin and half the equipment was still on backorder? That’s Potion Shop Simulator, a game with a heart of gold and a body that feels like it’s still in Early Access.

Ever wondered what would happen if your favorite long-running MMO finally gave you the direct story sequel you've been craving for years, but in the process, it also gave every single character an existential crisis and sent you a bill for the privilege? That's the story of The Elder Scrolls Online in 2025, a game that takes one glorious step forward and about five baffling steps sideways.

Ever wondered what would happen if Sea of Thieves had a drunken one-night stand with H.P. Lovecraft, and their baby was a janky, hilarious, panic-inducing fishing trip? Well, grab five friends you don't mind screaming at, because Dreadline: Net Quota Disclosure is here, and it's a glorious goddamn mess.

Ever wondered what would happen if you lost your job to an AI, got gifted a pair of magical horny sunglasses, and then immediately tried to fuck your liquor cabinet? Date Everything answers that question with a resounding "Yes," but what's truly insane is that after the initial wave of laughter, you might actually catch feelings.

Ever wondered what would happen if you had to work on a group project to save your own life, but every single one of your partners was just a different, equally dysfunctional version of yourself from an alternate timeline? Well, The Alters is here to turn that therapy-session-from-hell into a full-blown survival game, and holy shit, it is a trip.