Poker Night At The Inventory Remaster Guide: How To Read Tells And Win Legitimately
I know exactly why you bought this game, and I know you are probably tired of losing your virtual buy in to a deranged rabbit and a guy in a wrestling mask.
If you simply want to cheat the system and force the AI to hand over their exclusive Team Fortress 2 cosmetics, I highly recommend you stop reading this and go check out my Poker Night Remaster TF2 Items Fast Unlock Guide where I explain exactly how to exploit the save system. But maybe you actually want to learn how to play poker. Maybe you are tired of restarting your game every five minutes and want the satisfaction of outsmarting the algorithm.
Playing Texas Hold 'em against these four specific opponents requires a lot of patience. The game does not explicitly tell you this, but every single character at the table has a distinct betting strategy and a set of visual tells. If you learn how to read their body language, you can figure out exactly when they are bluffing and when they are holding a straight flush.
Here is how you actually win a tournament at The Inventory.
The Absolute Basics Of Texas Hold 'em
Before you try to read the Heavy's mind, you need to understand the fundamental math of the game.
You are dealt two private cards, known as your hole cards. Over the course of the round, the dealer will place five community cards face up in the middle of the table. Your goal is to make the best possible five card hand using any combination of your two hole cards and the five community cards.
The biggest mistake new players make is assuming they have to play every single hand. You do not. If you are dealt a two and a seven off suit, click the fold button immediately. Do not throw money into the pot just because you want to see the flop. You win at poker by being aggressively patient. You fold the garbage, you cautiously bet when you have a decent pair, and you go all in when you know mathematically that nobody can beat you.
Do not let the AI bully you. If a character suddenly raises the bet by a massive amount before the community cards are even revealed, they are trying to get into your head. If you have a strong starting hand, call their bluff.
Reading Your Opponents
The developers programmed specific behavioral quirks into every character. They will give away the strength of their hand if you watch their idle animations closely.
Max
Max is an absolute wildcard and easily one of the hardest opponents at the table. His aggression level is randomized every single hand. Sometimes he will go all in with absolute garbage, and other times he will fold a winning hand. You cannot rely on his betting patterns, so you have to watch his physical movements.
The Bluff: If Max's left hand quivers while he is betting, he is lying to you. Call him out.
The Good Hand: If his right hand quivers, or if he literally stands up on his chair to gesture at the table, he is holding a monster hand. Fold immediately.
The Bad Hand: If he slaps his hand against his head when the flop is dealt, or shakes his head in disappointment, he has nothing.
The Heavy
The Heavy is a remarkably tight player. He prefers to play it safe and will fold immediately if he has a terrible hand. If he stays in the pot, you need to be careful because he usually has the cards to back it up. He becomes highly aggressive when he has a massive stack of chips.
The Bluff: If the Heavy stretches his neck out after placing a bet, he is bluffing.
The Good Hand: If he checks his cards and nods to himself, he has a solid pair. If he rubs the bottom of his nose, he has a brilliant hand and you should probably fold.
The Bad Hand: If he violently slams his fist on the table or looks furiously at his cards, his hand is dead.
Tycho Brahe
Tycho is a strategist. He plays a very tight game and will almost always fold unless he has an insanely good starting hand. As the tournament progresses and players get eliminated, he adapts. He will start check raising and bluffing heavily to force you out of the pot. You need to eliminate him early before he builds momentum.
The Bluff: Tycho does not have a glaring physical tell for bluffing, but his sudden late game aggression with small chip bets is usually a smokescreen.
The Good Hand: If he slides his hand over his face, or checks his hole cards and smiles in celebration, he has you beat.
The Bad Hand: If he slaps himself and then slowly slides his right hand down his face, or shakes his head slightly, he is holding dead cards.
Strong Bad
Strong Bad is a reckless idiot. He has a delusionally high opinion of his own skills and treats mediocre hands like royal flushes. He will frequently go all in at the worst possible times just to try and scare people into folding.
The Bluff: If Strong Bad taps the table right before he bets, he is bluffing.
The Good Hand: If his eyes are smugly half shut, he has a decent hand. If he tosses his arms up in celebration and looks around the table, he actually landed something great.
The Bad Hand: If he repeatedly hits his head against the edge of the table, he knows he is going to lose.
Claiming The TF2 Loot
Winning the tournament is great for your ego, but we both know the real prize is the cosmetic drops.
To win these items legitimately, you have to play multiple tournaments. Eventually, a character will run low on cash and offer their item as collateral for a buy in.
This is the most important rule of the entire game. You have to be the specific player that eliminates them while their item is on the line. If Max bets the Lugermorph, and Strong Bad ends up winning that specific hand and knocking Max out, Strong Bad takes the item. You lose it entirely and have to wait for Max to randomly offer it up again in a future tournament.
If you see an item hit the table, you need to isolate that character. Fold your cards if you are weak so you do not accidentally lose your own stack, but if you have a winning hand, isolate the target and take them out. Once you secure the item, you do not even need to win the rest of the tournament. The Steam achievement will trigger, and the item will be deposited into your TF2 inventory upon your next login.
